Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Leap of Faith

That's what this blog really is, a big leap of faith. Will they love me, hate me, or not notice me and which do I want? That's always the question with me. Love is too much to hope for, hoping for love and acceptance has brought me to the state in which I find myself. It seems like hate is the norm in the world these days and wouldn't it be nice to at least pretend to something a tiny bit less bleak? So I guess I'll settle for drifting through this world quietly dying inside as unknown as possible.

I know that no one must know the real me, the things I hide inside. If they knew they wouldn't continue to let me exist. Instead of leaving me huddled all alone inside my closet they would drag me out into the light of day, publically string me up for all to see and revile. It's happened before and has left me terrified of being discovered again. But it hurts so much to feel myself withering away in the dark like this. I yearn to feel the warmth of the light with aching desperation while just as desperately hiding from it.

So in this blog I'll strip myself naked for all to see while never coming out where you could hurt me again! Maybe this will let some small feeble ray of light to shine in on me inside the closet.


  1. I think you look great. Good luck with the blog.

  2. "So I guess I'll settle for drifting through this world quietly dying inside as unknown as possible."

    I think you're stronger than this. You just might not know it yet. Hold your head high, find your source of strength, and don't let anyone keep you down. ;)

  3. Aw! Come out into the light! We're HERE! I didn't know YOU were here till you commented over at my place!

    All that silent lurking is BAD, bad, bad. You must come into the light and be heard...then you'll be seen...and we'll keep each other company. You'll see...it's all good!

  4. Thank you very much, all three of you! Things happen as they should and maybe one day there'll come a time for me to venture out again. For now I'll be content to take a backseat to you young whippersnappers. You tilt those windmills and I'll be the sneaky old fart in the background planting the explosives round the bases of them ;)