Today I counselled a young man who was very agitated about the state of his relationship with a young lady.
"I like her but I can't really like her because I have a really busy life and I've never been in a real relationship before and don't you have to give more time than I have to have a real girlfriend and I don't know if I'm ready to be in a relationship because I think it's all just moving way too fast but I do like her but I don't know what to do and I don't want to just sleep with her and dump her but..."
*shake my head in wonderment* Why do you youngins make it all so complicated? Listen, relationships can be easy as pie! You've been having them all your life! You have a relationship with your parents, siblings, neighbors, pets, teachers, friends, co-workers, and everyone else with whom you interact!
I hear you yelling already... "But a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship is different!"
Of course it's different but they're ALL different! You love your parents different than you love your friends which is different from the way you love a pet...are you starting to see? Why do you think they call it "FALLING in love?" Because it can be as easy as falling off a log! And there's a very good reason we use the terms we do for it, girlfriend/boyfriend...because that's exactly how it should be. Your significant other should first and foremost be the best friend you ever will have.
So please, take a deep breath and do try to let go of all this fluttering about! You just meet up with someone you like who shares some of the same interests as you. Become friends! Go have fun together! If things deepen into something more then let it happen easily and naturally. There's no rush so enjoy the ride.
Sweating out the on-sub process
12 hours ago